I am hurt today, and Jim Morrison explained exactly what I am feeling better than my own words could. I am sharing this here, in order to remember it myself. So that I never forget that I shouldn't be afraid of ashamed of my own feelings. I am human, and I embrace it with all my heart.
“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Time management..
I've been missing in action for the past week because life has been crazier than it has ever been. I have, once again, learned a lot from the crazy moments I have been experiencing lately.
It all started even before I set a foot in Taiwan..
I left London feeling giddy, after an awesome time in what can't be described as anything else but an awesome city. After managing to magically avoid paying for my way-over-23kgs-baggage (I still cannot understand how I managed to go from 31Kgs to 23Kgs in a matter of minutes!) and even doing some last-minute souvenir buying, I was ready to board my flight.
And here's where it started.
As I was boarding the aircraft (literally, I was just meters away), this airport man stops me and tells me its impossible for me to board because I had a carry on and I was traveling on coach. Um, what? Yes, it's true. I had my little suitcase, my purse and a backpack that had (I am not joking) only a teddy bear and a Cosmopolitan magazine inside.
I understand the whole 1-carry-on-piece-only policy, but absolutely nobody respects it on an international flight. It's quite impossible to do it when you're traveling long distances and you can only take so much.
I am going to defend KLM and say it wasn't them who actually caused this unnecesary drama. It was the airport people. Funny how after you check-in (where they ask you to show your carry-on and give you the ok or not-ok) they cause you trouble. As a side story, I was once traveling from Taipei to Brazil (two 12 hours flight plus a 3 hours flight) and I had;
1. A huge backpack.
2. A carry on.
3. My purse.
4. My laptop.
5. My pillow.
Okay, yes, it was waaaaaay to much that time.. and I heard the check-in people discussing in Mandarin whether they should or shouldn't let me board like this. In the end (they didn't realize I could speak Mandarin and could understand what they were saying) they let me go with no trouble because it was an awfully long flight and they just understood. During my flight the KLM staff never told me anything, and as usual, were always helpful.
Back to the original story though. Since that time, I realized how uncomfortable it is to travel with that many stuff on top of you, specially consider you have to change flights and wait, so I learned to pack lightly. This time, I was just like any other passenger when it came to hand luggage. I later understood that it was a small flight and that they were running out of space, therefore annoying those who were last to board.
The man (and mind you all) kept going on and on about how I needed to check one piece of hand luggage, and that I was lucky they weren't going to charge me for it, despite me explaining how they should be in communication with the check-in counter instead of causing trouble during boarding(and telling me if I don't hurry up, the plane is going to leave without me, even when I was staring at the aircraft's door as we spoke)
So after a lot of arguing (and I must admit most of it didn't even came from me, but from other passengers who were in the same situation) I was told I had to check one hand luggage. Understand that after the airline losing my suitcase on my way home, I was uneasy with the fact that I had to risk yet another suitcase with my possessions.. but oh well.
Okay. I check my backpack and the nice lady (not the mean man) was totally okay with it, doing the paperwork for it. As I had a foot in the aircraft, the stupid man calls me and tells me I have to check the other piece instead of my backpack because.. well, I don't know.
So in a rush and under his annoyed-dog face, I had to take all my valuables and laptop with me (which left me with, OMG 3 carry-ons anyways!) and I boarded the plane, and my little suitcase would meet me in Taipei.
I landed in Taipei, completely exhausted. It wasn't the longest flight I've ever been in, but I was simply beaten and looked like a rag doll. Even the super nice flight attendant who with I discussed the book I was reading the first minutes of the flights told me she was awfully worried I would hurt myself because I was sleeping in the strangest positions.
I went through immigrations, everything good. No problems. On to baggage claim.
1 hour passed. Nothing. Just as I was just relaxing, thinking to myself that I took all my valuables out of it anyways, I remembered a tiny little detail.
I looked all around my backpack and my purse over and over and over again, just to realize my apartment keys where on my little carry on. My roommate just moved not apartments, but countries and my landlord is a very hard man to locate. So, if my suitcase didn't arrive, I wouldn't have been able to get into my apartment at all.
My little suitcase was the last to arrive, but it did arrive. Thank God, it did arrive.
After the 45 min ride from the airport to Taipei City, I had to drag all my luggage up 4 floors in order to get everything in my apartment. I am not a strong person, but times like those you seem to take strength out of nowhere and become Hercules for 10 minutes.
I find out that I have no internet, but at this point, I don't care.
Shower. Bed. Heaven.
Now, back to reality. Selecting courses. My goodness what a headache. For two weeks (ending today), you have to run around the University seeing which classes you can/can't get in, checking the University system every day to see if there are any updates, la la la. Mind you, all of this without internet at the comfort of my place, which means staying in campus for much much longer than I would have liked every day.
On top of that, there's the whole finding-a-new-place issue. In Taipei City. In September. Anyone who lives in Taipei knows exactly what I am talking about. It's the time of the year everyone moves in and nobody moves out, and finding a place in Taipei, by default, is hard. Headache.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I am the most disorganized person in this entire world. These weeks though, I finally managed to master an invention that I never really was able to use before; the agenda. I felt so ridiculous, writing down absolutely everything I needed to do, from classes to checking out apartments, to even dinner with friend! I must admit, I got over how stupid and not-me I felt quite fast, considering it helped me get through every week doing absolutely everything I had to do without going bananas over it. I surprised myself on how well I managed my own time, and how much I accomplished in such a short amount of time.
Aside from all this, there are boy and family issues involved as well. It's not worth mentioning them or re-telling them because I am already over them, and once I close a door for good, I see no point in re-opening it. But the point is, it hurt. It all hurt.
The cherry on top of the big ice-cream puddle of problems was the extremely expensive electricity bill, that wasn't even mine since I wasn't home all summer. It was my roommate's, but since he's MIA, it was my responsibility to pay. It's just money, but when you're a struggling students, things like this can bring you to tears.
Now that I already have a new place to live (moving soon!) and that classes are hectic, but settled, I can say these weeks have told me more about time management than any book, counselor or any other method people might use. I really impressed myself, considering I used to be the kind of person that could only get one thing done each day, otherwise the stress and anxiety would rise.
So when it comes to time management and life, these are the things I've learned ever since I came back to Taipei:
1. Catastrophic thinking only leads to stress and is completely useless. Focusing on more positive things changes how you approach the situation entirely.
2. The internet is like fire. Useful, but it can harm you without you knowing it. It's amazing how much you accomplish when you're not constantly worried about stupid internet social networks and "keeping in touch" You still keep in touch and you still do the things you have to do, and those things you enjoy to do online.. but after going for a while without the internet, you realize how boring it is, and how much time we (well, I) waste on it. These two weeks have been so exciting; I've finished 3 books, wandered around the city without any agenda and spent my free time with friends, things I wouldn't have done if I had to be online because someone might want to talk to me.
3. The BlackBerry is a life-saver. Sure, I don't really like technology all that much, and I don't really trust it (I am known for sleeping with two cell alarms on, just in case one dies and what not), but these past two weeks, being communicated 24/7 no matter where I was in the city or what I was doing was incredibly helpful and it did benefit my productivity a zillion times. I was able to answer urgent emails as soon as they arrived, keep in touch with classmates for new class prospects and many things that were anything but leisure. It helped. Tons.
4. The world continues. Because you didn't solve one problem one day, doesn't mean the entire world is going to stop, or that your life will crumble in front of your eyes.
5. Love people for what they bring to your life. And most importantly, love them for the lessons they taught you, even if they were completely unaware if they were teaching you anything at all. It hurts, but you will never forget it, and you will never forget them.. so leave all the anger, resentment and tears aside, and rememeber that they were in your life for a reason, and they are part of sweet memories as well. When you hold grudges, you only end up hurting yourself more than you already are. Spare yourself the pain and just love.
6. You're more capable than you ever thought you were. So spare yourself hours of doubts, soul-serching and "I can't"s and just do it. Chances are, you will end up surprising yourself.
7. When in trouble, when in pain, when in stress, just remember one thing.. keep breathing.
Lollipops!
It all started even before I set a foot in Taiwan..
I left London feeling giddy, after an awesome time in what can't be described as anything else but an awesome city. After managing to magically avoid paying for my way-over-23kgs-baggage (I still cannot understand how I managed to go from 31Kgs to 23Kgs in a matter of minutes!) and even doing some last-minute souvenir buying, I was ready to board my flight.
And here's where it started.
As I was boarding the aircraft (literally, I was just meters away), this airport man stops me and tells me its impossible for me to board because I had a carry on and I was traveling on coach. Um, what? Yes, it's true. I had my little suitcase, my purse and a backpack that had (I am not joking) only a teddy bear and a Cosmopolitan magazine inside.
I understand the whole 1-carry-on-piece-only policy, but absolutely nobody respects it on an international flight. It's quite impossible to do it when you're traveling long distances and you can only take so much.
I am going to defend KLM and say it wasn't them who actually caused this unnecesary drama. It was the airport people. Funny how after you check-in (where they ask you to show your carry-on and give you the ok or not-ok) they cause you trouble. As a side story, I was once traveling from Taipei to Brazil (two 12 hours flight plus a 3 hours flight) and I had;
1. A huge backpack.
2. A carry on.
3. My purse.
4. My laptop.
5. My pillow.
Okay, yes, it was waaaaaay to much that time.. and I heard the check-in people discussing in Mandarin whether they should or shouldn't let me board like this. In the end (they didn't realize I could speak Mandarin and could understand what they were saying) they let me go with no trouble because it was an awfully long flight and they just understood. During my flight the KLM staff never told me anything, and as usual, were always helpful.
Back to the original story though. Since that time, I realized how uncomfortable it is to travel with that many stuff on top of you, specially consider you have to change flights and wait, so I learned to pack lightly. This time, I was just like any other passenger when it came to hand luggage. I later understood that it was a small flight and that they were running out of space, therefore annoying those who were last to board.
The man (and mind you all) kept going on and on about how I needed to check one piece of hand luggage, and that I was lucky they weren't going to charge me for it, despite me explaining how they should be in communication with the check-in counter instead of causing trouble during boarding(and telling me if I don't hurry up, the plane is going to leave without me, even when I was staring at the aircraft's door as we spoke)
So after a lot of arguing (and I must admit most of it didn't even came from me, but from other passengers who were in the same situation) I was told I had to check one hand luggage. Understand that after the airline losing my suitcase on my way home, I was uneasy with the fact that I had to risk yet another suitcase with my possessions.. but oh well.
Okay. I check my backpack and the nice lady (not the mean man) was totally okay with it, doing the paperwork for it. As I had a foot in the aircraft, the stupid man calls me and tells me I have to check the other piece instead of my backpack because.. well, I don't know.
So in a rush and under his annoyed-dog face, I had to take all my valuables and laptop with me (which left me with, OMG 3 carry-ons anyways!) and I boarded the plane, and my little suitcase would meet me in Taipei.
I landed in Taipei, completely exhausted. It wasn't the longest flight I've ever been in, but I was simply beaten and looked like a rag doll. Even the super nice flight attendant who with I discussed the book I was reading the first minutes of the flights told me she was awfully worried I would hurt myself because I was sleeping in the strangest positions.
I went through immigrations, everything good. No problems. On to baggage claim.
1 hour passed. Nothing. Just as I was just relaxing, thinking to myself that I took all my valuables out of it anyways, I remembered a tiny little detail.
I looked all around my backpack and my purse over and over and over again, just to realize my apartment keys where on my little carry on. My roommate just moved not apartments, but countries and my landlord is a very hard man to locate. So, if my suitcase didn't arrive, I wouldn't have been able to get into my apartment at all.
My little suitcase was the last to arrive, but it did arrive. Thank God, it did arrive.
After the 45 min ride from the airport to Taipei City, I had to drag all my luggage up 4 floors in order to get everything in my apartment. I am not a strong person, but times like those you seem to take strength out of nowhere and become Hercules for 10 minutes.
I find out that I have no internet, but at this point, I don't care.
Shower. Bed. Heaven.
Now, back to reality. Selecting courses. My goodness what a headache. For two weeks (ending today), you have to run around the University seeing which classes you can/can't get in, checking the University system every day to see if there are any updates, la la la. Mind you, all of this without internet at the comfort of my place, which means staying in campus for much much longer than I would have liked every day.
On top of that, there's the whole finding-a-new-place issue. In Taipei City. In September. Anyone who lives in Taipei knows exactly what I am talking about. It's the time of the year everyone moves in and nobody moves out, and finding a place in Taipei, by default, is hard. Headache.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I am the most disorganized person in this entire world. These weeks though, I finally managed to master an invention that I never really was able to use before; the agenda. I felt so ridiculous, writing down absolutely everything I needed to do, from classes to checking out apartments, to even dinner with friend! I must admit, I got over how stupid and not-me I felt quite fast, considering it helped me get through every week doing absolutely everything I had to do without going bananas over it. I surprised myself on how well I managed my own time, and how much I accomplished in such a short amount of time.
Aside from all this, there are boy and family issues involved as well. It's not worth mentioning them or re-telling them because I am already over them, and once I close a door for good, I see no point in re-opening it. But the point is, it hurt. It all hurt.
The cherry on top of the big ice-cream puddle of problems was the extremely expensive electricity bill, that wasn't even mine since I wasn't home all summer. It was my roommate's, but since he's MIA, it was my responsibility to pay. It's just money, but when you're a struggling students, things like this can bring you to tears.
Now that I already have a new place to live (moving soon!) and that classes are hectic, but settled, I can say these weeks have told me more about time management than any book, counselor or any other method people might use. I really impressed myself, considering I used to be the kind of person that could only get one thing done each day, otherwise the stress and anxiety would rise.
So when it comes to time management and life, these are the things I've learned ever since I came back to Taipei:
1. Catastrophic thinking only leads to stress and is completely useless. Focusing on more positive things changes how you approach the situation entirely.
2. The internet is like fire. Useful, but it can harm you without you knowing it. It's amazing how much you accomplish when you're not constantly worried about stupid internet social networks and "keeping in touch" You still keep in touch and you still do the things you have to do, and those things you enjoy to do online.. but after going for a while without the internet, you realize how boring it is, and how much time we (well, I) waste on it. These two weeks have been so exciting; I've finished 3 books, wandered around the city without any agenda and spent my free time with friends, things I wouldn't have done if I had to be online because someone might want to talk to me.
3. The BlackBerry is a life-saver. Sure, I don't really like technology all that much, and I don't really trust it (I am known for sleeping with two cell alarms on, just in case one dies and what not), but these past two weeks, being communicated 24/7 no matter where I was in the city or what I was doing was incredibly helpful and it did benefit my productivity a zillion times. I was able to answer urgent emails as soon as they arrived, keep in touch with classmates for new class prospects and many things that were anything but leisure. It helped. Tons.
4. The world continues. Because you didn't solve one problem one day, doesn't mean the entire world is going to stop, or that your life will crumble in front of your eyes.
5. Love people for what they bring to your life. And most importantly, love them for the lessons they taught you, even if they were completely unaware if they were teaching you anything at all. It hurts, but you will never forget it, and you will never forget them.. so leave all the anger, resentment and tears aside, and rememeber that they were in your life for a reason, and they are part of sweet memories as well. When you hold grudges, you only end up hurting yourself more than you already are. Spare yourself the pain and just love.
6. You're more capable than you ever thought you were. So spare yourself hours of doubts, soul-serching and "I can't"s and just do it. Chances are, you will end up surprising yourself.
7. When in trouble, when in pain, when in stress, just remember one thing.. keep breathing.
Lollipops!
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